3rd Year medicine: Almost there

It’s been quite a long time since I have written something related to my journey onto getting that “M.D” I wanted my posts to be something I’ll be happy to look back to and re-read several times without remembering how much rants I had in between posts before getting to be inspired and optimistic on the tons of experience I had in this ride. But I guess, that I would be lying if I take out all the bad parts. It is indeed a love-hate-make-or-break-it relationship I had with this c r a z y career path I chose. But hey guess what, we are almost there! And just like that I’m already 4 out 4 years in med school proper! Gotta celebrate ‘em small wins.

It was definitely far from what I imagined, but this what we have now. It was in 2nd year when we shifted to an online platform due to the pandemic. There are a lot of talks about it especially regarding the competency of the current generation of future doctors. But we have to face the reality that this pandemic is far from over and we have to adapt to the times. Some may invalidate whatever it is that we are doing, but trust me, it was never really our choice. It was really difficulty for me since I learn best from experience and from my patients. Being stuck to my ipad for almost 12 hours a day was not how I thought this journey would be. And without me even knowing, I’m already in my final year.

A bit of a recap of year 3….

It was true when people say that 3rd year is TIRED year. I mean…. I was hell tired!!! I never thought I would even make it alive. It was never ending paper works, reports, case conferences, exams, osce, video outputs, preceptorial outputs, etc. It would even take up my weekends since papers are due on saturdays. And that 1 day I have left for myself was even allotted for catch up on my backlogs. I was running on 2 cups of coffee every damn day, and 1 pill of caffeine on days where I need to study the whole entire day. To add more to it, we also had our thesis + defense this year.

1st sem:

✅Thesis defense

✅ OB OSCE

✅Change in grading system

✅Semestral exams (will comprise 25% of your grade for annual subjects, 50% for semestral subjects)

✅Cumulative topics per exam period

✅Insane coverage per exam

2nd sem:

✅Surgery OSCE

✅Tested positive for COVID

✅Clinical pathology practicals

✅Semestral exams

✅Finals exam huhuhuhu

✅Taking exams for almost a month

2nd sem was definitely the hell in hell year. I felt like my mental health was down the drain. And I can’t even put an ounce of care for myself anymore because it would surely affect my academic performance. More to it, when I tested positive for covid, the intense anxiety I had back then was unimaginable. But all I can think was I need to finish all my readings and keep pushing through.

May of 2021 was the month of finals. The last leg and the do or die moment. My grades were not even a good sight and were barely hanging on. I had to push myself to study 12 or more hours per day because I need all the points I could get. I could recall crying my eyes out in between study breaks.

During the 1st day of our finals, I got a really bad score on my medicine exam (one of the subjects I had a failing grade). As soon as I saw my score, I literally broke down. The tears were non stop but I had to pull myself together because I still have an exam that afternoon. I was running on zero sleep and still my hard work didn’t pay off. I can feel the exhaustion and frustration running through my system. That time, I thought I wouldn’t survive the week. I was dragging myself to that weekend to get 5 hours of sleep and study my ass off again. It was sooooo draining.

After the exam week, this was it… the waiting game. All my grades gave no assurance. I was constantly computing whatever point I need just to meet the passing grade. Non stop crying, and praying.

But all my manifestations came true. When I saw that I passed all my subjects, I was at awe. I couldn’t believe it… I’m already in my final year. The shitload of problems I had for the past 4 years may have broke me, but we’re still here, fighting. From going homeless, parentless, and counting pennies for my food… we’re almost here. We’re close to getting that MD at the end of my name.

I am beyond thankful this miracle. This was all Him.